Juliene
by Sabatha Rox
Summary: A young sul'dam is ready to make her mark in the world, her beliefs pushing her forward. When traditional values are questioned, her entire world threatens to collapse in a way she does not know if she can accept.
1. Chapter 1

_A.N._ The point of this story is for the women of Seanchan. It is easy to see _sul'dam_ as evil, taking pleasure in pain. While some are, others are not, which gave me the inspiration for Juliene. She is a young Seanchan woman, newly raised to _sul'dam_, an exalted position in her world. She is excited and ready to take on the world, much like any other young girl would be. I wrote her character after my little sister, who believes that there is good in everyone.

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><p>"Now Miri, you must be a good girl." The young woman said to the weeping figure on the ground before her. Juliene's heart was pounding as the adrenaline coursed through her, the fear slowly leaving her system. She had been <em>sul'dam<em> just half a year and already had her first catch!

It had been a routine inspection, and Juliene had been chosen to lead. Unlike some of the other girls, Juliene didn't mind the month long expedition to villages throughout the country side. She liked being in charge, and sometimes wished the trips could be longer. There was an older _sul'dam _to keep watch because Juliene was still young and new, and these trips were more for teaching purposes than anything.

Rows of girls lined up before them, heads down. They were aware that any moment could be the end of life as they knew it. Juliene remembered her own moment well, standing afraid but certain that she would not be one of the unlucky ones.

For this trip, Juliene had chosen Ara to complete her. Ara was well trained and very good at finding _marath'damane_. She knew the importance of collaring women who could channel. It chilled Juliene to think of any woman with the Power who was not safe in an _a'dam_, even sweet Ara.

Together they found three women with Power, ignoring their crying as the collars were placed around their necks. They also found a small girl who showed promise as a future _sul'dam. _Juliene gave her parents the congratulatory speech, smiling as the couple gave their daughter a last kiss and sent her toward the wagon set up for the _sul'dam_ initiates. It would be the last time they ever saw their daughter, but unlike the parents of the _damane_, they would always remember this day with pride.

Once the line was complete, Juliene asked the council for the names of any who did not appear. A young lady by the name of Mirilam had not come to the square that morning, and no one in her family had seen her. This was unusual; the question was simply a formal part of the day, and Juliene had never heard of anyone not appearing for the yearly gathering.

After thanking the village for it's cooperation, Juliene asked that everyone return to their houses and not come out until this Mirilam had been found. Juliene could feel the other _sul'dam_'s eyes on her back as she thought of what to do. First, order the soldiers to check the family home, then look in the other houses after. Not one of the people here would hide a woman who may or may not have the ability to Channel; even her family.

She and Ara began searching around the village, and she thanked the Empress that it was not a larger town. "Where do you think she is Ara?" "Ara does not know mistress."

As they wandered around buildings, Juliene felt herself getting angry, and Ara's irritation growing through the bond.

Voices drew her back toward the square and she saw soldiers escorting a young woman toward Juliene. She felt Ara stiffen slightly and knew this was the missing Mirilam, and that she could Channel.

"We found her hiding in the celler of her parent's home." "Thank you Garen." Juliene began walking toward the girl who was openly weeping. When Juliene opened her pouch and pulled out an _a'dam_, the girl began screaming. Juliene watched in horror as a Power that she could not see threw the girl's guards away and began cutting through Juliene's men.

"Ara now!" Juliene said ducking to the ground, as Ara pushed the strongest shield she could make onto the girl. "Mistress! She's going to break free!" Ara said looking surprised as the girl fought off the block. Instinct took hold and Juliene pushed off the ground and threw herself at the girl, latching the collar around her neck. The girl's screams cut off instantly as the Power left her and she collapsed.

Juliene unclasped Ara, handing her to the older _sul'dam_. The woman hadn't lifted a finger for her own _damane_ to help through the ordeal! Pushing aside the anger, instead taking in the satisfaction she felt at the catch, she placed her end of the _a'dam_ on her wrist. Fear flooded through the link, doubling Juliene's own as the girl on the floor continued to weep. Juliene could feel the girl attempting to touch the Source, and watched as the pain forced the girl to begin retching.

Once the elation of the catch began to ebb, Juliene realized how uncertain she was. What was she supposed to do now? She tried to remember what she had been taught in training, but she couldn't catch the memory.

"Stand up Miri." She said in what she hoped was an authoritative voice. Miri ignored her. Frustration welled up in Juliene and she pushed a burning sensation on everything but the girls feet, willing the pain to stop when the girl stood up. "Good girl." Juliene said trying to calm her anger, but it was hard and she was slightly intimidated by the girl's glare so she sent pain again until she looked down. "You are now named Miri, and you are no longer to remember any of the life you lived before this moment. You are _damane_, a danger to yourself and others. But you are lucky in the fact that you now wear the _a'dam_, which will keep you safe and allow you life. Any who wears the bracelet to complete you shall be called Mistress."

Juliene was rather proud of herself and found it easy to ignore the resentment building from the girl she was connected to. "Just wait until you've gotten to the kennels. You will receive punishment for a lot less than feelings there." She thought smiling to herself as they heading on, back toward the city.

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><p>If you find any errors or mistakes, please let me know!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Once Juliene reached the quarters for the _sul'dam _and _damane_ in the city, she quickly returned Ara to the kennels, and took her new Miri and the others to the _der'sul'dam_. She knew the older _sul'dam_ who had traveled with her had already been to give a report, and now she felt the beginnings of nervousness. What if the woman had told her how poorly Juliene had handled everything? She had not remembered proper statements for new _damane_ and wondered if it would lead to punishment. The woman had not said a word to her the rest of the trip.

Juliene tried to calm herself, knowing that the _damane_ could feel her fear, but instead unclasped, held the bracelets, and knocked on the door.

"Enter."

Juliene pushed open the door and immediately bowed her head to the _der'sul'dam_. Just as Juliene had instructed, two girls who were to become _sul'dam_ and the three girls from the town lay on the floor, but Miri simply stood there. Cursing in her head, Juliene slipped Miri's _a'dam _back onto her wrist and switched Miri's knees, shocking the girl to the floor with the others.

"Come child." The _der'sul'dam_ said to Juliene, allowing her to sit and join the woman in conversation. Her name was Naribe, and she had been _sul'dam_ since before Juliene had been born. She was lovely and kind, but strict with any who displeased her. Her stories were know by all, and she was something of a legend to the younger girls. She was everything Juliene wanted to be.

Naribe did not offer Juliene any _kaf_, but Juliene thought nothing of it, pleased to be here even with the anxiety coloring her thoughts.

She gave Naribe her report of the journey, about each town they found themselves in, stopping to catch her thoughts about the last village.

"So," Naribe said first, stirring her drink with a small lacquered spoon. "Arista tells me that you have had an interesting inspection in your last stop." Her brown eyes caught Juliene's, holding no clues as to her mood.

"Yes ma'am."

"She told me about your rather, ah, unconventional collaring." Juliene swallowed at the words. "Yes ma'am." She said again.

"Which was it?" Naribe asked gesturing toward the _damane_. Juliene lifted her wrist, bringing Miri's head up slightly. Naribe nodded before ringing a bell. Two _sul'dam_ entered the room to take the three _damane_ and the future _sul'dam_, and left again, leaving Naribe, Juliene, and Miri who had begun to cry softly again. She hadn't really stopped since being collared, and Juliene was afraid that prolonged contact with the bond would make her begin weeping too.

"May I?" Naribe asked puzzled by the _damane_ on the floor. Juliene passed the bracelet to the _der'sul'dam_, relief washing through her system at the loss of contact. Naribe closed the link and sat back, waiting, it seemed. "Juliene, did you know that you can sort through the feelings of the _damane_?" Juliene shook her head.

"I feel a great amount of fear, but pushing past that is despair, anger, resentment, and.. Ah the most important feeling from a _damane._ Acceptance. See, once they accept what they are, then and only then can they become the precious weapon that we rely so much on."

Naribe unlinked herself from Miri, handing the _a'dam_ back. Juliene placed the link back on her wrist, bracing herself for the feelings that hit her. She had never felt such strong emotions in her training. Indeed, not even the three other _damane_ had such feelings. She tried as Naribe had done and attempted to sort through the thoughts. Each was like a distinct flavor, things that Juliene herself had felt before.

"Oh!" She said opening eyes she had not realized were closed and looking right into Naribe's smiling face.

"I felt it." She told the woman. "But it's so small compared to everything else she is feeling."

"How ever small it is does not matter, as long as it is present." Naribe said, raising her cup to her lips. "That is all." She said, dismissing Juliene.

"Who shall I take her to _der'sul'dam_?" Juliene asked rising, bringing Miri up with her.

"You do not wish to train her yourself?" Naribe asked her. "Very well, take her to-"

"May I?" Juliene asked before she could stop herself. She bit her lip. Interrupting the _der'sul'dam _was considered especially improper.

Naribe silently considered her before saying, "You may. She is your catch. Remember this for the next time, she will be yours to train if you so choose it. I do not doubt there will be a next time."

Juliene bowed once more before leaving.

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><p>A.N. I am sorry this was a bit short. I originally had this and the next chapter combined, but I think they work better separated.<br>Reviews are always welcome! Thank you Minodrin for pointing out my mistake (:


	3. Chapter 3

Juliene found herself in the kennels before she brought herself back to focus again. She had been lost in her thoughts after leaving Naribe's office. The meeting had been very different than what she was expecting, but definitely better than being scolded by the _der'sul'dam_.

She still was shocked by her own sudden enthusiasm to take on the responsibility of training Miri. Just moments before she had been looking forward to passing the _damane_ to someone else. She supposed it was the acceptance she had felt from the girl that had pushed her.

Upon entering the kennel she saw dozens of _sul'dam_ checking rooms, taking _damane_ out or bringing them in. An older _sul'dam_ came toward her, ready to take the new charge, but Juliene crossed her arms, hiding the link. It was something of a foolish reaction, but this was now her _damane_ after all.

The _sul'dam_ laughed rudely at the gesture. "Child, I do have to enter a name for every new _damane_."

Juliene flushed at the name. All _sul'dam_ were equal once raised to the position, but those who had been serving longer were more likely to act superior. Still, she was not a child.

"Well?" The woman asked.

"Her name is Miri." Juliene felt the resentment rise again through the link. Why did the _damane_ care so much what name she had? Juliene thought that she should be grateful for the safety that only the _a'dam_ could bring to girls like her. They had a place to sleep and were given the charge of helping to keep the kingdom and the Empress safe.

"Miri shall be kept a floor below with Kiro." The woman said looking at a list in her hand. "Kiro is especially good with the newer... Have you taught this one no manners?"

Juliene turned to see Miri looking straight into the eyes of the older _sul'dam_. Shame welled up in Juliene. It was one thing to be called a child, but quite another to have a _damane_ show such impudence. The face she could lose because of this...

"Miri, eyes down." Juliene said coldly to the girl willing a good switching. For a moment Juliene thought she would have to resort to something worse, but Miri let out a soft gasp of pain before looking down.

Instead of making Juliene feel better, the sound made her feel worse. The _sul'dam_ frowned before telling Juliene where to go with Miri. "And make sure that you keep that one on a tight leash." She said before turning away.

Tears began to well up in Juliene's eyes and she looked back accusingly at the girl sulking behind her. She just knew it was the bond making her feel this way.

She fought off the emotions and led Miri down through the kennels until they reached the room she would be sharing; only the best _damane_ were allowed to sleep alone. Kiro was out for her daily walk, leaving the room empty for now. It had two beds, a table with a chair, and a pitcher sitting on the window for washing.

"Miri will be sleeping here with Kiro. She will help you learn the ways of the _damane_. Learn well from her." Juliene said unclasping the bracelet and hanging it on a peg built into the wall before sitting on the chair.

Miri began to sit on the bed before Juliene stopped her. "_Damane_ are not to sit in the presence of _sul'dam_."

"Is there anything that I can do!" The girl said suddenly. Though Juliene had been expecting the girl to say something now that they were alone, the heat in her voice was still startling.

"Miri can call herself Miri from this point on. No longer I, Miri." Juliene said to her.

The girl opened her mouth again but Juliene snapped at her. "Here is something that you can do. Take my part of the _a'dam_ down from the wall and give it to me. If you do that, I will let you do whatever you would like."

Juliene knew that there was no way for Miri to touch the peg, but the test was given to all _damane_ during training. It was cruel of Juliene to ask the girl to do the seemingly simple task right now, but she was hoping the action would teach a lesson. The girl had made her face burn more than once today.

She watched as Miri walked toward the wall, her determination reaching Juliene even without the connection of the bond. Just as she reached toward the peg, pain flickered through her expression. She tried again, this time doubling over from the influx of stomach cramps. Once she was upright again she threw herself toward the peg before collapsing.

Juliene watched with chagrin as Miri began to heave. She could only imagine that the girl had reached for the Source in her frustration. Miri would have to be punished for the attempt, though Juliene lost the will to do it now. Whatever the girl was feeling was punishment enough for the moment.

"I can't do it." Came a small voice from Miri.

"Who can't do it?" Juliene asked before she could stop herself. It felt wrong, but the _sul'dam_ in her had to ask it.

"Miri can not do it." The pitiful voice answered.

Juliene found herself wishing to be anywhere but in the room.

Leaving Miri on the floor, she turned to walk out of the room, passing Kiro and her _sul'dam_ Adair in the hall.

"Kiro has a new friend." Juliene told Adair. "I named her Miri. She has been having trouble adjusting, and I would like Kiro to talk to her."

Before Adair could say anything back to her, Juliene turned away and continued her pace out of the kennels. It was all she could do not to begin running back to her room.

Her head was reeling from the events in the kennels. The vision of Miri desperately throwing herself at the peg would not leave her.

The halls were longer than she remembered, and it seemed hours had passed before Juliene finally found herself alone. Had everything only just happened?

She pulled off her boots and dress before climbing into the bed, hoping that a little sleep would clear her mind.

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><p>A.N. What do you think so far? Is Juliene destined to suppress some thoughts and be like other <em>sul'dam<em>, or will she change?

As always, reviews are welcome!


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